Navigating through life’s complexities is difficult. As a young man, the intricacies of juggling academic, financial and social pressures can be particularly problematic.
It’s no secret anymore – guys tend to cram their emotions in a bottle. At some point, you either unscrew the lid or the bottle bursts.
As a little kid I couldn’t wait to grow up. For some reason, I had it in my naïve, prepubescent mind that I’d have it all figured out by my early twenties; I’d be a professional athlete or have a well-paid job land in my lap. Perhaps this innocent arrogance could have spurred some ambition into me. In fact, it caused quite the opposite effect. Instead it made me discouraged at the thought of having not secured a sizeable salary when I had made so many plans to do this, buy that, and go there.
Introverts Assemble!
After cruising through school with painfully mediocre grades, my attention quickly turned to social life.
I was intensely focused on the adolescent cliques within my social sphere; somewhat strange as a lifelong introverted, backseat-sitter. Someone who shares similar sob stories is Tom, 22, a friend and recent nursing graduate. I spoke with him at length about the intricacies of mental balance, particularly in young men.
“At college, I’d carry around problems from home, my parents were separated at this point and their new relationships were turbulent. After my diploma, I went straight into full-time work in HR – hated every second.” There was a wry smirk on Tom’s face, he would often recount on his torrid time there with jest. “And from there I went into nursing.”
So clearly that career change was a pivotal time for you. Was there ever a financial pressure as well?
“Actually no. I was on good money at SWAS, [South West Ambulance Service – his HR role] there was just no way I could be in an office eight hours a day. It was so passive.
What’s worth noting is his emphasis on being inactive and how it negatively impacted his mindset on the daily. Limited physical exertion can prove to be subconsciously detrimental to an individual’s mental wellbeing. With a particular scope on students, a recent, UK-based article in the Journal of Mental Health concludes “Engagement in physical activity can be an important contributory factor in the mental health of undergraduate students.”
Tom certainly agreed as we read through the article abstract. He continued, “[…] so as a dialysis nurse I was on my feet all the time, seeing to patients across most of the wards. Instantly helping people first hand made me realise this is what I enjoy doing. I was scraping the barrel on apprentice wage but I looked forward to going to work.”
Having a supportive circle of friends is hugely important
A millitary veteran speaking about the benefits of therapy. Image courtesy of Joint Base Andrews via Flickr
Life: The Biggest Troll
Social media’s role in affecting a person’s psychological health is undoubtedly instrumental.
At the forefront of a cultural crusade is Twitter, a platform I use pretty much every day. Be it for consuming hard news as it breaks, keeping in touch with friends or reacting to humorous content with a short exhale of air via the nose – Twitter stays undefeated.
Nothing actually comes close to Twitter’s ability in gauging public opinion; social media’s power lies within the numbers; likes and retweets equal traction, leading to followers, and that’s it. That’s the cycle. On the grander scale (world politics and the like), Twitter is at the bow of a perilous ship sailing toward a potential black swan event of geopolitical chaos. It’s Instagram however doing the most damage to individual mind-sets; it’s far too easy to compare self-worth with picture-perfect people plastered across feeds. I once overheard someone summarise the ‘gram with a simile: “it’s like a popularity rat race.”
The One-Thousand-Day Dry Spell: How sexual abstinence improved my mentality.
Mental health and sex – two of the most imperative subjects out there, yet we find them the most difficult to discuss. Both of these grey areas are paramount to every individual, and everyone interprets them differently. The surge in awareness for mental health issues has no doubt helped many sufferers, and, just as importantly, educated those who do not suffer on the convoluted ins and outs in the aim of relieving stigma. Sex on the other hand, is just the sweetest taboo.
For an undisclosed reason, I abstained from sex for exactly 1,123 days. The reason remains undisclosed because I’m genuinely clueless as to how or why it happened. One thing I know for certain though, I am thankful for it providing a revision of my outlook; as an intrinsic teenager, disinterested in debauchery, I piled pressure on myself in making sex a big deal. Like a slow-moving epiphany, the realisation that caring what other people think of your personal life is phony, was setting into my mind. The ‘it’s really not that deep’ notion filled my psyche with clarity and made space to focus on important aspects of my lonely life.